Of Longans, Coconuts and Home
Okay..i've officially started my coming home bout of sickness. 2kg of longans and 2 coconuts saw to that. Yes i know longans are heaty, but coconuts were supposed to be "cooling" right?? Looks like the yeethei forces overwhelmed the leong forces this time. Next time i'll stock up more coconuts.
Thing with coconuts is that they are damn inconvenient to break. i'm not allowed to use the chopper at home.
So what i do is use the back of a spoon to break a hole through their eyes and stick a straw in to suck all the brains out much like the Starship Troopers brain bug's modus operandi. The tricky part comes next. I use that stone u see to whack the living daylights out of the coconut which will eventually crack...not fully so i don't mess up the flesh inside. A little too difficult to do in the dark at night, so that means i can only have coconuts when there is light. Guess coconuts will have to go nocturnal. *mad gibberish mode still on*
I also thought of the brilliant idea of putting coconuts in the freezer so when the juice freezes, it would crack the coconut open through the expansion of the ice block forming inside. Good sense prevailed (after my sister asked how i was going to drink a block of ice) and i didn't try it. I won't try it until i finally accidentally bash my fingers with that stone. Upon which i am sure i will pitch that stone as far as i can. Hopefully it won't kill anyone.
Oh well, maybe it will kill anyone trying to climb over my fence to use the tap in my washing area. A few years back, a cousin staying at my house actually caught a maid from the house behind ours cimbing over with a while basket of clothes to wash. WTF is all i can say. Too bad she didn't skewer herself on the jagged fence and give her employer lots of grief. I can't imagine her climbing over on her own volition, which means i have to watch out for my neighbours climbing over to save a few cents. No fear, i've dug up the back garden and instaledl a pit filled with of bamboo spears coated with faeces. Much like what the viet cong did in Vietnam. Ok, a bit morbid, but my back garden is so overgrown with pandan leaf plants that i'm going all primal. Soon i'll coat my face with mud and hunt for rats with a spear!
Trespassers Beware!
Thing with coconuts is that they are damn inconvenient to break. i'm not allowed to use the chopper at home.
So what i do is use the back of a spoon to break a hole through their eyes and stick a straw in to suck all the brains out much like the Starship Troopers brain bug's modus operandi. The tricky part comes next. I use that stone u see to whack the living daylights out of the coconut which will eventually crack...not fully so i don't mess up the flesh inside. A little too difficult to do in the dark at night, so that means i can only have coconuts when there is light. Guess coconuts will have to go nocturnal. *mad gibberish mode still on*
I also thought of the brilliant idea of putting coconuts in the freezer so when the juice freezes, it would crack the coconut open through the expansion of the ice block forming inside. Good sense prevailed (after my sister asked how i was going to drink a block of ice) and i didn't try it. I won't try it until i finally accidentally bash my fingers with that stone. Upon which i am sure i will pitch that stone as far as i can. Hopefully it won't kill anyone.
Oh well, maybe it will kill anyone trying to climb over my fence to use the tap in my washing area. A few years back, a cousin staying at my house actually caught a maid from the house behind ours cimbing over with a while basket of clothes to wash. WTF is all i can say. Too bad she didn't skewer herself on the jagged fence and give her employer lots of grief. I can't imagine her climbing over on her own volition, which means i have to watch out for my neighbours climbing over to save a few cents. No fear, i've dug up the back garden and instaledl a pit filled with of bamboo spears coated with faeces. Much like what the viet cong did in Vietnam. Ok, a bit morbid, but my back garden is so overgrown with pandan leaf plants that i'm going all primal. Soon i'll coat my face with mud and hunt for rats with a spear!
Trespassers Beware!
posted by cokecat at 11:41 am
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